They found ways not just to survive, but to thrive. Instead, they created productive goals for their experience. 'They became experts at not letting the experience frame them,' he said. Moore spent decades studying the Hanoi Hilton POWs, and their ability to compartmentalize the challenges of their daily existence was key to their resilience. Moore asserts the Vietnam War POWs are 'poster children' for finding purpose in prolonged adversity. Mitchell Center for POW Studies at Naval Air Station Pensacola, Florida. Jeffrey Moore, the former executive director of the Robert E. 'What do you want to gain from this experience?' is a good question to ask yourself, says neuropsychologist Dr. Those things you push outside yourself,' he said.įocusing on what you can control includes actively looking for ways to put the unexpected problem to work for you.

You draw a mental frame around the things you cannot control. His maternal grandmother and both of his parents had modeled strength and tenacity in overcoming severe poverty, and Alvarez drew on those memories: 'Family stories of the adversities they faced had shaped my character and gave me backbone.'Įmbracing the suck also meant unlearning the mantra of 'men don't cry.'Ĭombating boredom, frustration and uncertainty, Alvarez discovered that tearfully acknowledging his feelings allowed him to then focus his energy on what he could control. When you grow up in a turbulent household, you have to learn to shut things out.' Raised in a household with an alcoholic and abusive father, he found, 'I had learned to live with myself. We can choose to reframe it and actually learn something from the pain.Īlvarez tapped into his life experiences to endure. We cannot control everything that happens to us.

Military Academy's Performance Psychology Program, characterizes it, 'It's the idea of being emotionally comfortable while being physically uncomfortable.'

Embrace the suck